Saturday, 11 February 2017

Test your emotional intelligence

Struggling with your equillibrium? Wanna know your EI Quotient? Take this confidential self assessment to get your scores. Understand your potential to take on your ability to deal with complex  intraperssonal, interpersonal, professional situations that make you successful.

Friday, 23 December 2016

Is outsmarting syndrome killing your progress?


Ever met someone articulating goals passionately, yet not moving forward over time, changing goals often, shooting down possibilities, or quite adroitly presenting themselves as victims of circumstances? Very likely that one is dealing with someone with outsmarting syndrome.

All of us have some goals or a purpose, though some are aware and others are not. How we make progress towards them depends on how well we self-articulate them, and take consonant and consistent action. More often than not, non-awareness is relatively a better state to be in, rather than high awareness unsupported by action and even worse is stronger counter-thinking to destroy action. With quite a few that I coach, I find this quite rampant.

The genesis of destructive emotion of regret lies right here in our justifications with our own selves for either counter arguing with our inner beliefs to suppress them, or justifying inaction. These may be asymptomatic for long, or, may show up through irregularity, denial, procrastination, ridicule, defensive attitude, stubbornness or overconfidence.

Outsmarting is a limiting behaviour and keeps one from moving forward. It nearly acts like antibodies that begin killing productive cells by suppression, dominance or infecting them. We generate, and nourish such way of thinking that defeats every productive thought with a view to win over an argument or positive idea and feel victorious. The cacophony created by the distortions gains damaging proportions and quite certainly leads to repentance or regret later when one finds himself quite far from his desired goals. Change does cause discomfort, and most with this syndrome derail faster than others, and slip back to comfort zones.

It is therefore, a good idea to seek help, self- explore blind spots and take massive action to overpower barriers. Being aware that outsmarting only hurts back while we enjoy this self- destructive victory, is a good point to begin the process of change. This new-year vacation is a good time to sit back and mull over your thoughts and actions against your goals and conclude decisively on future course. A well thought out plan could well shape up much more productive resolution for the new-year. Getting a coach to help could be one strong building block in the direction. To know how coachable you are, do visit www.thegrowthevangelist.com and write back to Dr. Alok Purohit. Wish you a very happy and exciting new year.

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

Seven point check before you hire your coach


Coaching is one learning theme which is bubbling under, yet not utilized to its fullest potential. Most Entrepreneurs, Organizations and Executives have always had a tacit need for exploring their true potential and life directions, but have taken a backseat due to environmental noise, operating in patterns and unwillingness to challenge the status quo. On the other hand there are some who are silently pursuing their goals and agenda for transformation, priming themselves to embrace a much sought after future. As success of coaching initiatives requires significant commitment from both coach and client, the results are extremely diverged. Some experience radical changes that transform the way they lead their lives, while others do not.

Overconfidence, stubbornness, confusion, resentment, procrastination and laziness are the giant killers that block any meaningful changes. Much as quite a few hire a health instructor in anticipation of weight loss but are never sincere about dieting or exercising right. Some of them undermine and ignore the need for a good coach, which is a prime requirement to drive meaningful behavioural change with consistency, commitment and highest integrity. As the market gets more and more coaches, the differentiation emerges clearly. Like any other profession, there are average, good and great coaches. As coaching does offer high value (not essentially cheap), how does one pick a coach for personal or organizational goals. Here are a few pointers that might come handy while making the choice;

  1. Passion: Coaches who exude passion with the coaching process are a great choice to make. Many studies globally have shown that passion is an innate quality in successful coaches. They are known to fire up and inculcate energy in their clients towards their goals.
  2. Discipline: Coaches who are disciplined themselves can drive the same in their clients. Discipline is infectious, and with time, most sensible coachee’s observe and imbibe it. In my personal experience, I have seen most undisciplined clients disrespecting time, terms and even appointments, change over a period of time.
  3. Experience: Nothing can replace experience. Experience in their niche, or professions is a definite edge that helps one to establish great communication and rapport during a coaching engagement. Irrespective of the industry, or business, fundamentally sound coaches can decipher clients needs.
  4. Diversity: Patterns emerge out of “Like Effort, Like Result”. When one is looking out for breaking the status quo, dissimilar thinking can do wonders, as it challenges ones thinking and cognitively sparks off newer ways and ideas. It is equally important for the client to be ready to accept diverse ideas and negotiate the nest outcomes suited for them.
  5. Empathy: Coaches who can identify with clients issues, yet subtly drive a result oriented agenda are always a good choice for a coaching engagement. At the same time, coachee’s need to be alert to receive the ‘signals’ that are exchanged during coaching conversations. Coaches who are good ‘Relators’ are a great asset to have.
  6. Futuristic: Great coaches are ‘Futuristic’, as they tend to focus not on ‘what it is’, but ‘what it needs to be’, in the best interest and desirability of the coachee’s goals. These are ones who handhold clients and help them attain newer directions and orbits.
  7. Conceptual skills: Coaches with sound conceptual base, offer an enriching experience as they brush up, augment and satiate the need for knowledge and skills that helps coachee’s forever in various life situations.  
    So, next time you are on a look out for a good coach for a life goal, do hunt for the traits that can make your coaching engagements a fruitful, goal oriented journey. Accountability has done wonders in the pursuit of organizational and professional agendas, and it may be a great idea to have a good coach to partner your journey to your next goal.
Write to the author about your life goals on thegrowthevangelist@gmail.com or Visit www.thegrowthevangelist.com

Tuesday, 25 October 2016

The leadership and succession 'Mystery'

It was nerve wrecking for the markets when the news broke out last evening, about the ouster of Cyrus Mistry, the Chairman of Tatasons, a company that has gained truly global scale. A succession that was much talked about, and made headlines then, as it did today. This was in certain ways similar to the clean up at Infosys sometime ago.


Tatas have enjoyed great reputation and 'Corporate Governance Premium' over several years. The stakeholders were stung by the decision, and most surprisingly since it was completely unanticipated, something that markets do quite well ahead of events. While what and why it happened is a debatable subject, it opens up an important area around organization building for top executives and entrepreneurs to take cognizance of.


This was a large Indian global corporation, that came into limelight due to media and investor community interest. The phenomenon though is quite widespread where most of them live in today and 'hope' that things will move on like this forever. Fewer senior managements are actually consciously planning, developing and investing on the future of businesses, be it family managed, or professionally managed businesses. In my experience, very few have convincing answers when quizzed about the futures of their business, probably because they have not been confronted with the right questions themselves for longish time. I have known a few who many who are holding on to the status quo, 'hoping' that things will happen with 'intent' than action, and quite a few on the other hand, who are silently working on their future.


The fact that feeble number of businesses stay relevant in their current models, succession planning becomes even more important, when companies and entrepreneurs have to sow their futures. The spearheads have to spend quality time in identifying, building and smoothly transitioning their businesses into future. There may be some important areas worth pondering to ensure this doesn't remain a mystery anymore;


  1. Fears around delegation: Conviction about a reasonably hands off delegation, once a decision is taken, overcoming fears and sense of 'competition'. Good leaders have always believed future will be bigger and brighter a it gets newer perspectives and styles. I have used 'reasonably' to provide for risks. There are examples where mentors have stepped in to salvage when required.
  2. Alignment with 'Values': This has been in taking rounds since time immemorial and most leaders like to build clones. The reality is that adherence to dysfunctional values may be suicidal. Businesses evolve and so do adopting relevant yet 'functional' values may be the order of the day. In many ways, this is about reinventing a self imposed homeostasis.
  3. Organizational adjustment: Organizations, specially those with legacy, develop inertia and take time to adjust and embrace styles and diversity. As long as integrity and strategy are in consonance, sufficient time may be required to inculcate new thinking and a 'buy in.
  4. Investing on 'skills': Leadership can be developed, and there is enough evidence to suggest this. Opportunity, learning, building emotional intelligence, communication and consistent focus on 'future' skills over just daily and weekly considerations are some tools to build leadership and succession. This is not just financial investment, but requires time, effort and energy on 'identified' people. Leadership skills are above and beyond the functional or executive skills after a point of time. Letting potential leaders explore that area for themselves helps in the longer run.
  5. Space for performance: Constant goading, tracking, frequent course corrections are forms of imposed learning which soon turns out to be a recipe for disaster. Instead, 'Accountability' and cognitive learning works out better for permanence and retention of skills. Leadership is in many ways, about managing uncertainties, and ready answers tend to suppress it.
It is time that leaders took cognizance of the need to be conscientious of  their succession plans than just replacing people on positions. After all, leadership is about the right decisions for business and its sustainability and longevity, and that is the hallmark of leaders who are remembered for good.


Visit www.thegrowthevangelist.com and plan a great future for your business or company, or write to thegrowthevangelist@gmail.com

Thursday, 8 September 2016

How people aim at nothing and hit it at amazing accuracy

There is an old saying: “Most people aim at nothing in life…and hit it with amazing accuracy.” It is a sad commentary about people, but it is true. It is the striving for and the attainment of goals that makes life meaningful.

People who have no goals feel emotionally, socially, spiritually, physically and professionally unbalanced. This can only cause anxiety. People who have goals make decisions that affect the direction of their life positively, which is a sign of strength. Goals create drive and positively affect your personality.

Rules of Goal Setting

Most people, when asked, “What are your goals in life?” say something like, “To be happy, healthy and have plenty of money.” On the surface, this may seem fine. As goals leading to actions, however, they just do not make it. They do not have the key ingredients necessary to make them effective, workable goals.

Your goal must be personalYour goals must be something you want to do rather than something you think youshould Know your reasons for having the goal. Whether you want to achieve something for status, money or good health is secondary as long as you want it badly enough to work hard for it.

Your goal must be positiveWe tend to focus on ideas and actions from a positive framework. Rather than saying, “I will not smoke today,” phrase it differently, “I will breathe only clean air today,” which is a statement that serves the same purpose and is more positive.

Your goal must be writtenWriting a goal down causes effects that are a bit difficult to explain. It does, nonetheless, prove effective. Written goals take a jump in status from being nebulous thoughts. Perhaps their being written serves as a visual reminder and thus continually reconfirms their importance. When things are “put in writing,” they become official in our minds. A written goal strengthens our commitment to accomplish it.

Your goal must be specificDo not set your goal by saying, “I will increase my sales next year.” You need to be specific to avoid the lack of commitment that comes with being vague. A more workable and motivating goal would be, “I will increase my sales next year by 10 to 15 percent.” This revised statement defines the increase that you are striving for as well as the range of the desired increase. Giving yourself some leeway is more realistic than expecting to hit your goal at exactly 15 percent.

Your goal must be a challengeA goal must motivate you to work harder than you have in the past. It must move you forward. Set your goals just beyond your reach so that you will have to stretch a bit.

Your goal must be realisticEverything is relative to time and space. What is unrealistic today may be totally within reason five years from now. In any field, we never really know what the upper limits are. How, then, do we define realistic? For our purposes, the best definition must come from you and your values. You must ask yourself, “What price am I willing to pay to accomplish this goal?” You should always weigh the payoffs and the sacrifices involved before coming to a conclusion. Realistic is ultimately your decision.

Working Toward Your Goals

Now that you know the rules for setting goals, you can apply them to the goals you set for yourself. Here is an explanation of each of the areas you need to complete while working toward your goals:

Define your goalDetermine whether your goal meets all the requirements of the rules listed above. If it does, then write it down as clearly as possible.

Examine obstacles that stand in your wayThis is a time to guard against negative assumptions and self-defeating thoughts. Remember the definition of realistic. An obstacle blocks you only if you let it. Write down innovative ways to overcome obstacles.

I.I.F.M.—What’s in it for me? Why do you want to achieve the goal? What kind of payoff is motivating you?

Plan your actionYou need to carefully list the action steps you will take to bring you closer to your goal. The smaller the increments, the easier they will be to accomplish. A German proverb says, “He who begins too much, accomplishes little”. As the American Dental Association is fond of saying, “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Project a target date for your goal.State your deadline range, such as “between March 15 and April 1.” Think carefully about the amount of time you need. Too little time will increase pressure and frustrate you. Too much time may reduce your drive.

Know how you will measure your successGoals should be described in terms of the final outcome of an activity rather than as the activity. This is part of being specific. Instead of saying “I will be running more in four to six months,” you could say, “I’ll be running three miles instead of two miles in four to six months.” How will you measure this? Probably by having one-third more blisters on your feet.

Inspiration and Motivation

The dividends reaped by investing in yourself are unlike any other found in the financial world. When you clarify your values and set goals in all the major areas of your life—mental, physical, family, social, spiritual, professional and financial—the right roads appear in front of you like mirages in the desert, yet they are real. Choices become infinitely easier to make because you are aiming at something specific and you have taken a giant step toward hitting your goals…with amazing accuracy. Amazing rendition of this thought from Tony Alessandra  makes it a brilliant read.

Friday, 22 July 2016

Vital Signs that you may be self sabotaging



Why do people refuse help from people who have their best interests in mind?  Why do they continue unhealthy habits that they know will eventually incur permanent damage?


A good 30-40% of my coaching clients exhibit this self- inflicting behavior..  The subject of self-destructive behavior is quite a daunting subject, something dark that lurks in the corners of existence which we usually train ourselves to overlook.  Don't believe me?  Look at all the gluttons outside of office buildings, or the endless stream of failure stories illustrating the media.


Many might probably suspect deep down that in some way they may be a self-destructive person.  If one may want better clarification or even confirmation that one is indeed a self-destructive person, keep reading.


The Dirtiest Habit Of All


I'm not the first, but I certainly won't be the last person to admit that I've been (and in some ways still am) a self-destructive person.


From pushing away people I love, and housing self-defeating mindsets, to repeatedly self-harming in my teenage years ... I've been down this dark alley more than once.  As I've grown, however, I've realized that self-destructive behaviors are expressions from our Shadow Selves, springing from low self-esteem and even self-hatred.


Some  speculate that self-sabotaging behaviors could be coping mechanisms (e.g. for stress, pressure, social demands etc.), others consider self-destructive behavior as ways of maintaining comfort zones due to lack of confidence or feelings of unworthiness (e.g. staying at the familiar bottom of the social ladder).


What symptoms and habit do self sabotaging people exhibit?


Self-destructive behavior comes in many guises, some extreme, some not so extreme.  But in order to continue to internally evolve and improve your life (as well as those around you), it's really best if you look at your devils right in the face.  Symptoms and/or habits of self-destructive behavior include the following:


1.  Housing self-defeating mindsets.



This is an unconscious form of self-destructive behavior because it results in self-fulfilling prophecies.  Examples include thoughts such as: "I'm going to fail, I just know it", "I'll never get out alive", "This will completely destroy me", etc.


2.  Failing to take action.



This is a passive symptom, but still self-destructive in nature.  When we know something is bad for us, but fail to take any action or steps to remedy the issue, we are essentially setting ourselves up for, and guaranteeing, failure.


3.  Over-eating.



A nasty habit that results in many long-term health issues.


4.  Under-eating.



Many under-eaters fool themselves into thinking they're benefiting themselves.  Truth is that under-eating is usually a band aid for serious self-image and other psychological issues.


5.  Forced incompetence.



This means portraying oneself as unintelligent or incapable of successfully achieving something.  Forced incompetence usually stems from a lack of confidence in ones abilities and can function as a coping mechanism, e.g. academically.


6.  Going out of your way to harm others.



What goes around comes around they say, and the negative influence you have on others, whether by words or deeds, will eventually manifest itself in your own life (e.g. sicknesses, tragedy, legal issues, isolation).


7.  Self-harm.



An extreme.  Self-harm is a sign of self-hatred and is mentally and physically destructive.


8.  Self-pity.



This is an unconsciously manifested form of self-destructive behavior.  Self-pity is destructive because it encourages us to remain inactive (i.e. wallowing in our misfortunes), rather than  encouraging a proactive approach towards life.


9.  Drug and alcohol abuse.



A self-evident form of destructive behavior, drug and alcohol abuse creates endless misery in the lives of addicts and their friends and family members.


10.  Social suicide.



Not always committed consciously, social suicide is the act of deliberately alienating yourself from your peers.  This could be through a variety of irritating, repelling or antisocial behaviors.


11.  Hiding from emotions.



Failing to acknowledge negative (and sometimes positive) emotions creates a host of mental, emotional and physiological illnesses.  This is another form of unconsciously manifested self-destructive behavior.


12.  Refusing to be helped.



Pushing away advice, refusing to ask help, avoiding counsel ... not wanting to be helped cries "I don't care about my well-being!" and screams "self-sabotage!"


13.  Unnecessary self-sacrifice.



Some people are in love with their misery because that is all they have known for a large portion of their lives.  Unnecessary self-sacrifice is a good way of making one feel "noble" and "altruistic" while masking the actual act of self-sabotage: giving up on hopes, dreams and passions that make one truly happy.


14.  Spending too much.



Whether through chronic gambling or constant eBay purchases, overspending may seem unusual to have on this list, but is nevertheless a form of self-destructive behavior that limits ones freedom and peace of mind.


15.  Physical neglect.



Getting poor sleep, refusing to exercise, eating unhealthy foods, and failing to maintain the general well-being of your body are all classic signs of self-destructive behavior.


16.  Mental neglect.



Refusing, avoiding or failing to confront our psychological health issues (e.g. stress, anxiety, depression, paranoia, OCD, etc.) delays the healing process, resulting in significant long-term issues.


17.  Sabotaging relationships.



This is a complex one, and involves a large variety of destructive behaviors such as jealousy, possessiveness, emotional manipulation, neediness, violence and so forth.  When we don't feel worthy of love, we unconsciously manifest this in our relationships through the way we choose to behave.


The self-destructive person exhibits both conscious and unconscious behaviors that sabotage their own health, happiness and long-term fulfillment.  It's important to remember that you're not alone.  Like me, you probably can identify with a couple or even more symptoms and habits on this list. So get up, ask for help wherever you can get one, begin respecting yourself, as destruction and post destructive phases are painful enough, and forever.

Saturday, 16 July 2016

Here is why coaching becomes non negotiable

World economic forum has vetted that workplaces in 2020 will be driven more and more by human skills as technology takes back seat as the core competence in the world full of disruption.

Coaching is the only cognitive learning model that enables and empowers people around these skills as the world around us  becomes increasingly dispassionate and even indifferent.

Visit www.thegrowthevangeliist.com or call Dr.Alok Purohit to know how coaching can help you in your circumstances.

https://youtu.be/ssH70sK07AI

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Here is why committing to routines helps build new behaviours


At work and otherwise, I meet many, who have a long list of wishes, and to do’s, that will potentially be the turning points in their lives. Most are statements of benign intents but stated as ‘would like to’, ‘starting next month’, ‘waiting for right time to begin’, ‘caught up with many things’ and not moving forward is eloquently defended. Eventually, it is a state of stillness like a marvellous piece of precision engine that has no drive, or fuel.

 

In reality, most of such people fears associated with committing to newer behaviors that will offend the current state of inertia and will demand some effort to regain homeostasis. Most behaviors in practice that have been learnt and rehearsed over years get challenged and defences kick in.

 

The other set of much braver set of individuals who begin with high level of commitment but little commitment or perseverance get dared by comfort zones and slowly roll back to either the old or little better set of behaviors.

 

The highest success rate I have experienced is with those who adopt new behaviors and commit to them uncompromisingly, in routine. The results with such individuals are faster, higher in impact, and sustainable. The biggest indicators symptoms like restlessness with the new normal, yet supported by persistence, sustained realization of improved well being, and lookout for ways to overcome than to stop and roll back.

 

Sticky behaviors became stick over years and newer ones shall take their time too. Success lies in being mindful of the change process, and keep building on it. Routines are helpful in this area as they provide higher probability of adoption and expediting the re-freezing process.

 

Please write into thegrowthevangelist@gmail.com , visit www.thegrowthevangelist.com if you are seeking assistance from a coach who can help you catalyze change.

Sunday, 7 February 2016

Financial Success – Stepping stone towards holistic happiness


I have hardly found a person so far who is not overly focused on ‘making money’, ‘growing bigger’ or ‘being financially successful’. By ‘overly’, I intend to express that the time spent talking about these aspects far outstrips all other facets of life that may be potentially the happiness quotients. When goaded, some streaks of semblance emerge but the intensity is very weak. As a life coach, the area of financial goals is inseparable part of my work, even though it may rub shoulders with financial advisory.

 

I, fundamentally believe, that everyone has a right to prosperity and abundance, and all are born with innate ability to attract them. The extent of success though, lies in developing financial wisdom, along with skills to make money. The fact is, we all live with bills to pay, and a wide variety of needs to fulfil, and pursuit of holistic happiness may be a utopia without financial success. Here are some pointers around building financial wisdom;

 

  1. Keeping goals in sight – Money can fulfil certain goals, and assigning a budget to each goal helps track progress and maintains focus. Beyond finances, this also establishes milestones of success till the day one may like to fearlessly pursue other passions.
  2. Mitigate risks – Capital protection is the base case scenario in any financial plan, Greed or fear may adversely impact the financial plan. Overly Leveraging is the biggest disaster one can inflict oneself with.
  3. Build assets, not liabilities – With passage of time, it is important to build assets that appreciate and fetch compounded gains, unlike unnecessary liabilities that will dent you with compounded liabilities.
  4. Diversify – Not putting all eggs in one basket is the mantra for long term success. Use cyclicality of asses classes to your advantage over long run while mitigating at the same time.
  5. Start early – Money has ‘Time Value’. Make the most of time, and not always ‘timing’. History suggests that disproportionate appreciation is observed when assets are given longer horizon.
  6. Manage temptations – Most people who hit a bounty get tempted to blow it up. While rewarding oneself is a great idea, it is better if it in proportion to a future need. Each one of us is different, and therefore may use rationale and prudence.
  7. Money depletes – Money eats itself (Inflation) if not mobilised and made to work. The value erodes and it never seems to be plenty with every passing year. Let it work FOR you and beat inflation to retain its value and grow in real sense.
  8. Know your ability to manage money – If one does not know how to manage money, never underestimate the need for an expert. I recall many who could make but not retain financial success.
  9. Money has numbers- Numbers never end, and life is finite. While chasing financial success, understand that it will soon cease to be a driver or satisfier in our pursuit to holistic happiness.
  10. Manage equilibrium- Learning to be calm amidst noise helps in focusing on one’s own goals. Treat ups and down in the journey to financial success may be temporary as long as consistency over long term is maintained. Understand that keeping and building skills is required to attract abundance. Keep learning.

 

Pursuit for financial success and stability consumes large part of our lives, time, and many other sacrifices. Persevering this phase with some discipline can help attain financial success over time.I know a few who have learnt the mantra of making their financial success work for them while they pursue their passions and life goals, and paving their way to holistic happiness.

 

Any life goals you may want to share or explore? Visit www.thegrowthevangelist.com or write to thegrowthevangelist@gmail.com

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Ten steps to traverse your journey to change


I was quite astonished to see a sudden surge in enquiries around New Year day, expressing intent to work on changing ‘something’ in life, and what could be better than a new year to begin. I could sense that most had terrific understanding of ‘what’ needs to change in their lives, and also the fact that when people sit back and mull over their ‘as is’ situation over ‘desired’ position, they are able to get great answers. Not surprised though, as I believe in the power of ‘inner core’.

 

I always have followed some basic premises when it comes to committing to a change;

 

  1. Know the need for change – Focusing on areas of highest pain helps focus the effort.
  2. Understand intensity – Usually what pains most is felt at highest intensity. There is no ‘right time’ if you feel higher intensity for a change.
  3. Visualise how future would look like – If it is changed or dealt with, what would it look like.
  4. Understand what you could resist – Behaviours change by thrashing comfort zones.
  5. Commit, invoking all inner strength – Once committed, take it as ‘irrespective’. Establish benchmarks for yourself, not relative to many others. Trust your inner power.
  6. Engage with positive people to soak motivation and goodness. Affirm to the desired.
  7. Be mindful during change – Win over each emotion, feeling that is encountered en-route.
  8. Celebrate, and reward yourself for each win, and re-charge to overcome failure. Feel the change even ‘physically’ in your body.
  9. Look back only to know how far you have reached. Not sideways to where others have.
  10. During the process, build accountability and find an agent of change. One who can help you traverse through this journey. Find a good coach who can support you during the process.

 

Searching for few answers? Want to change but need to discover that ‘something’? visit www.thegrowthevangelist.com or call 9893222222