Thursday, 25 September 2014
Learning is a part and parcel of human growth, and translating learning to action or change, and then a habit over a period of time needs intense effort. I have had an opportunity of observation of people who have great determination, who slip up on either direction, or the magnitude of change they desire to bring in. When asked to recall the slippages (from the set goals.. say losing weight…), most of them either couldn’t even remember or sound near ignorant of the slippage moments. On the other hand, there is this other set of individuals who conscientiously build on the chunks toward larger agenda seem to be extremely vigilant of the journey.
What is very interesting is the fact that those who successfully transcend through this journey are the latter variety. During feedback sessions, they are able to explain every successful or unsuccessful moment. In fact many of them actually maintain a record of what went well and what did not, and articulate it with such conviction that their success is only a matter of time.
I could very clearly see that such people create a clone of their own when they explain such occurrences as if one is able to keenly observe what, when and how are the slippages happening. The issue is not about fool proof precision on change process, as failing on such changes is only human, but it is about superlative ability to stay conscious of such pitfalls and not letting them recur through awareness and control. Those who can create their clones (‘of consciousness’) are more likely to implement changes and break comfort zones.
Saturday, 20 September 2014
We live in the era of noise and it is increasing by the day. Information overload is everywhere. The term ‘Clutter’ is used frequently to describe unnecessary information floating around us. It is this excessive noise that allures and compels people to resort to activities, allocate time and band width, unproductive thinking and open ended effort which are everything but the desired direction and therefore result.
I was motivated to write about this as two closely known people suffer from this ‘distraction syndrome’ and get sucked into anything that comes their way, losing sight of what they want and as if they wouldn’t be seen ‘in action’ if they did not. I do not intend to judge anything though, yet I feel strong relapse of ‘loss of focus’ time and again. Surprisingly, these are those people whose commitments to stay on course seem very strong when guided to be on course.
By silence, I intend to put forth not just physical silence, but the silence enabling focus on the desired direction. I observed a few examples of students with no silent or private study area excelling in studies, and many executives in high stress jobs not losing their internal peace and able to see what they want to stay focused on. More often than not, these are the people who win the battle in the long run and cross barriers with relative ease. Internal silence is very powerful, and so much, that it can build immense, inconceivable force when required through conservation, and focus. I recommend through this blog, an observation of the vibrations during focused negotiation, a pause on a deep conversation between two people or the power generated by an un-inflicted mind. Once our mind learns to observe internal silence, the expansion can be limitless.
Friday, 12 September 2014
To change anything in your life requires self-assurance. As most of us are governed by our internal processes, different people react differently to similar situations.
Though this is not a numerical process in mind, here is an equation that will help you to change anything that you want and to get you to take action! This may help you to understand the forces at play when you are faced with making a decision as to whether changing or doing something is a must or a ‘nice to have’.
The Change Formula
There is a simple equation that you can apply to anything and everything when you are faced with a decision as to whether you want to do something or not. When faced with such a situation I urge you to consider this.
D x V x P > C
DISATISFACTION WITH THE STATUS QUO
Basically, to start with you must be discontented with the present situation.
Here, you must have a vision of the situation or position that you want and why you want it.
Lastly, you must know what will be involved in order for you to change. You need to draw up an action plan of what you need to do.
COST OF CHANGING
What will you have to sacrifice in order to change, what will be the costs? Will you have to change your beliefs?
The D x V x P will create your desire to change but you will only change if your desire is greater than the associated costs of changing (C).
Thursday, 11 September 2014
I was little perturbed this morning by two updates, one about HMT closing down its iconic watch division, a brand many of us grew up with, and, second about an old friend who called to say she was moving on since her ideas were becoming irrelevant to the brand she worked for over 15 years.
Both had a common hidden message. It was about changing, but more than that, adapting and staying relevant with changing times and environment. I have been recommending a consistent insight with people on evaluating their need to invest on themselves, and on the change they need to undergo on personal, professional or behavioural fronts. Many of us have subconsciously adapted to lifestyle, technology, societal trends over last two decades, and it just goes on. The lifespan of one’s success and relevance depends on how fast and how long we keep adapting.
In fact the law of compounding applies so well to the process of such change. A change initiated today has a much higher value and probability of success than one that begins much later after inflicting irreversible damages over time. So, if you think that you want to change and keep thinking and procrastinating, it will only erode the relevance and efficacy of such change. Now is time to change, if you have anything in mind that you want to change, it is now or never. Write a new story, the moment you think you ought to.
Wednesday, 10 September 2014
Human mind is attuned to thresholds and it activates emotional, physical and mental energies to the magnitude required in a situation. Think of a high jumper who attempts an inch higher or a sprinter who tries to improve his race completion by fraction of a second for a new record, a student who works to achieve a higher percentile, or for that matter, a sales person who thinks and plans his growth numbers over previous year’s base numbers.
The measurement of such thresholds is utmost important and that hold the key to success and helps define clear benchmarks and direction. It is therefore imminent that in most situations, one has to keep things measurable as much as possible. However, there are many softer situations people confront, that may not have numbers. More often than not, the failure to deal with such situations results into tangible opportunity or real losses.
The recommendation that I intend to make here is to have regular cognizance and reinforcement of the past successes with similar situations in the past that one might have won over. This helps create mental thresholds and enable one’s mind to develop the thoughts around possibility, and preparation for facing such situation. Once the mind latches on to the do-ability aspect, the body and mind gets ready to endure through the situation, and the results are much better. People practicing this well tend to get spectacular results.
Tuesday, 9 September 2014
Ever noticed why people quit smoking and come back to it again? All New Year resolutions to exercise and lose weight last only for a week? Every time pledging be more organised dilutes in few hours? It may be surprising to many of you, that nearly 80% cardiac patients return to old habits after surgeries. 70% rash drivers yet again display similar behaviour after meeting accidents. Here are some facts about such dysfunctional behaviours;
1. They are deep rooted and sticky. They do not change unless conscious effort is put in consistently with professional help.
2. Any change from these positions faces inertia and procrastination. ‘Group think’ is one big force acting against change in the story.
3. They are in the mind; thinking typically on the lines of ‘the world doesn’t change in a day”, ‘He/She also does it’, ‘I have lived it for many years’.
4. Any ideas to change these are ridiculed in mind even before the change begins. The gains with the change are overweighed by the cost of that change, even if worthwhile.
5. Past failures to change haunt and dilute any future efforts to bring about behaviour modification.
It is nearly impossible to bring about a sustainable change unless one resorts to professional help and maintains consistency with high integrity. One may need to understand the concepts of Opportunity cost (the cost of not changing today) and Compounding (Change today is better than tomorrow). Any procrastination shall only lead to disasters and drifting away from ones goals in life. Every moment is the right time to commit yourself to a new and positive change and propel ahead.
Monday, 8 September 2014
Indians begin celebrating Diwali, the festival of lights, a fortnight later. Traditionally, it is time people think of near and dear ones in their personal spheres, and companies about their employees and staff, for wishing and gifting ideas. It is an occasion no one wants to let go of this opportunity for even that once a year connect in their personal and professional network.
There is this sentiment and emotional energy behind the social connect that makes all to wish and pray for a bright future for everyone. While it’s a ritual to brainstorm over tangible gifting ideas, a truly different and tangential idea could be about gifting a coach to near and dear ones and as a company, to employees that require help in their lives. This could reflect genuine concern that people and companies have towards them, and could potentially be a life changing experience for the recipients. By the results that they generate for themselves, they may remember this unique gift for a long time.
Therefore it may be time to think of close friends and family connections in personal circles, and employees that companies may have concerns about, and the issues that they may need help on. While tangible gifting may have a high ritual value, but, with a shelf life and relevance. A coach can help him generate best suited solutions for a long time and he may remember such a gift for a long time, strengthening relationships and improving his life in its true sense. It could be an amazing HR intervention for corporate too, helping generate belongingness and retention.
Thursday, 4 September 2014
Most of us have lived our lives the way we have, and the plateau, also referred as inertia or homeostasis becomes the way of living for future. We fail to realise that the winds of external change are blowing at their own pace and momentum, that can potentially transform the way we are used to live, unless of course, we know how to adjust to the tailwinds to accommodate these changes. Here are 5 symptoms one can interpret to anticipate and adjust to the silent changes;
1. Body and mind talk different language: Time to resort to healthier life. Focus on fitness and nutrition.
2. Losing sense of purpose in what you do; Quickly resort to help in discovering objectives, that are real and fulfilling.
3. Monotony becomes a routine: Attempt new things, learn, study, travel and recharge.
4. Losing desire to pursue passions that you always dreamt of: Identify unmerited priorities that consume your time and recreation time.
5. Unfounded insecurities begin to spike up: Face fears and address them. Write down your goal, speed and direction.
6. Your inner drive is fuelled by need and not fulfilment; Focus on purpose. Passion will help address this issue.
7. Talking too much to your own self, and missing points while among people; Relax, let go, decontrol, drop the inhibition of you driving the environment.
8. Strong desire to pursue multiple priorities together: Bring back focus and assign priority on high impact agenda’s that you may want to pursue.
It is imminent that the mental radars have to be able to detect the signals at the manageable thresholds before they begin to force change you at irretrievable points in life. ( www.thegrowthevangelist.com )
Wednesday, 3 September 2014
We know the importance of complementing other people. It is also very imperative to put yourself in the position whereby you receive the complements.
Are you happy with the way that you dress? If not then buy clothes that will make you feel good. Make other people complement you on your appearance, it will make you feel good.
Are the contents of your car, garage or house show up like a mess? If so, make it spick and span.If I got into your car and there were papers, cans, grit and the like, what do you think this says about your self-esteem. Are you happy with your weight? If so, then fine. If not, then go on an exercise and healthy eating plan.
MAKE PEOPLE SAY “YOU LOOK AMAZING!”
The level of your self-esteem can either open doors or it can shut them tight. When it comes to those few moments of reckoning in your life - that 20 minute promotion presentation or that 10 minute chat to the Supervisor, you must be at your best and feel at your best so that you can perform at your best.
When you are feeling good about yourself you feel that you can conquer anything. No obstacle is too great; no mountain is too steep to climb.
Your self esteem can be improved by internal (you thoughts) and external (appearance, possessions) factors. To maximize your potential in life you must analyze your SELF-ESTEEM.
Make sure that you are in the position whereby your mind and body are one.
When you have achieved this you will know because you will never have felt anything like it - THE POWER OF A HIGH SELF-ESTEEM AND THE CONFIDENCE TO ACHIEVE ALMOST ANYTHING.
Tuesday, 2 September 2014
Rather than actually TELLING someone the answers, a Life Coach is the catalyst for getting a client to find the answers themselves. By conversational interventions & thought provoking questions, a Life Coach can unlock the potential in a client.
Coaching is forward looking and focused on the action you are prepared to take to get what you want out of life. Sometimes you just can’t see the wood for the trees!
You so are wrapped up in everyday life that indeed life just passes you by! Well, coaching enables you to see different alternatives and to take a step back and actually examine your life and all of its component parts.
This in turn leads to greater:
A Coach Is . . .
- Your own personal trainer to enable you to achieve your goals
- Your champion during a turnaround.
- Your trainer in communication and life skills.
- Your sounding board when making choices.
- Your motivation when strong actions are called for.
- Your unconditional support when you take a hit.
- Your mentor in personal development.
- Your co-designer when creating an extraordinary project.
- Your beacon during stormy times.
- Your wake-up call if you don't hear your own.
- And most importantly, the professional coach is your partner in helping you have all of what matters most to you.
Monday, 1 September 2014
It is vital that one has a lucid picture of how one would like others to see him and what type of person he would like to be.
The self image that a person shows to everyone is the ramification of his internal self-esteem.
How many people have you seen who around with their head down and back crouched?
What do you think this says about their self-esteem? Do you think that they would be able to sell themselves?
Winners present a decorous presence to the world. They are confident, they walk tall, and the winners’ manner lets people know “I am a good person. I deserve to be respected.”
Losers don’t think that appearances are important. They want to be accepted as they are. No matter whether we like it or not, rightly or wrongly, appearances do count for a lot in today’s society.
But it is not what one looks like that counts, its how you feel about what he looks like that will have an effect on his confidence and self-esteem.
In order to maximize one’s potential in life, he must be able to put himself into a position whereby he feels good about himself so that he can radiate the confidence, energy and enthusiasm required to be a success.
Otherwise, there will always be something that will be holding him back - the effects of a low self-esteem.
If one feels good about himself, he will tend to assume that others will also like him and if they believe you are likeable, they share that belief as well.
Until one can love and respect himself, it is impossible to feel confident and assured.
Someone once said: “A man who loveth himself right will do everything else right”
A healthy self image with its associated feelings of competence, confidence and worth is essential in order to make a positive impression on others.
If you feel good about the way that you look and the things that you have got, it is very likely that you will have a high self-esteem.
Lose 10 kg weight
It will give me greater confidence, enhance my self esteem and will make me more attractive
Exercise, proper Diet, Allocating Time, Gym or home, etc
1. Finding Gym, exercise routines, kit, frequency
3. Time Management and organisation
1. Lose 2 kg per month
2. Buy 1 new item of clothing each month
3. Visit gym 4 times per week
4. Increase distance or resistance each time
Major Goal attained within 5 months xx/xx/2015
X weight in 2 months yy/yy/2015
What’s going well?, What are the results? Do I need to adjust?
Make sure that you write everything down, don’t just commit it to memory.
If you haven’t already started to formulate your goals the exercises reading further may help help you achieve just that.
For each of your goals brainstorm and write down all of the things you will need to do in order to achieve each goal.
What will you need?
Are you experienced enough?
Who can help?
What will you have to do?
Is there a cost?
Do you need any equipment?
Do you require any capital?
Chunk all of the actions into 3 or 4 main areas and then class these as sub goals and put deadlines on each.
Then, GO FOR IT!
On achievement of these goals it will give you great self-confidence and will set you on your way in achieving that winning habit. It will also put you in the right frame of mind to achieve greater feats.