Sunday, 20 December 2015

Beyond work and Life, it’s about being ‘Alive’!!

Many of my clients have this common expression about feeling choked with work occupying on their mind all the time. The most common symptoms described are neglecting health, negativity, low self-esteem, caught up in comparison, relationship and loss of purpose.


Many of us tend to trivialize our most loved pursuits that they have been passionate or happy about, eventually learn to live without them, while pursuing the worldly, yet undesired. Over years, we develop comfort with chaos and ‘noise’, and begin ‘labeling’ it as ‘lifestyle’, till it begins to hurt and we stray on innate, latent life goals. What begins as excitement, dithers over time and rational prevails. The void pushes one to high levels of anxiety, fear, uncertainty and conflicts. ‘Glorification’ of ‘busy’ becomes unproductive.


Work and Life can’t exist in isolation, at least over long time. The justification of not ‘living’ holistically may be self-defeating. By ‘Life’, I mean having fewer or many friends, great family life, sufficient recreation, prudent lifestyle and responsibility for actions, high awareness of self and environment, a happy being, positive influences, well balanced priorities and time for everything. It not just about life, it is about being alive, being excited for things beyond the obvious. Sounds like little too much?


This isn’t esoteric or utopian at all, though fewer people achieve this over time with conscious effort and mindfulness, crossing short term blocks of cynicism, doubt, fear or overconfidence. I, for one, know some real life heroes, a successful senior executive who has time for health, relationships, and spirituality and he goes out of the way to attain this balance. Another entrepreneur that I work with, is actively managing business, yet practicing detachment, and building succession over time, breaking barriers, and detaching from past. A doctor, who has ambitious goals in philanthropy after 23 years of successful professional success, and has committed time to it every day. If real life heroes fail to inspire, consider Liam Neeson, the lead in French blockbuster ‘Taken’, who signed up this movie only for his passion to live and see France, and learn Karate for three months.


Work and Life are not metaphors of conflicting facets of life, they co-exist, and complement each other. After all, a happy life is all about being holistic.


Visit or write to about your experiences, or your goals.

Thursday, 3 December 2015

Here is why accountability works

Raj (Name changed) started his career more than two decades ago as a trainee with a large company. Having achieved above average growth with his hard work and performance, he climbed up the ladder up to a leadership role with a large corporate house.


This is where the headwinds and tailwinds started, and a fairly decent performer in Raj began to shake up. Having been comfortable with organic growth, and being at right place at right time never germinated an urge to fortify his skills, or to learn/develop a few other genres that have been his latent talents, and, above all, his longing passion that remained subdued under his material pursuits. When I first met up with him, he was neck deep in frustration and negativity, poor emotional quotient and sensitivity towards people around him.


It did not surprise me when I heard from him about high attrition in his team, lack of trust with supervisors, and insecurity that kept him cocooned for a while. He had issues with irregular/stressed lifestyle, health and finances. One thing that I could see as his strength was his determination to come out of this cobweb, by accepting accountability for his actions. It was about 8-10 sessions later that he regained control, and has already begun preparing for his next big pursuit.


It does feel very lonely on top, but with a supportive coach under an accountable relationship, it is possible to create much more life than we live, break barriers of limitations, fears or perceptual blocks. As I write this, Raj heads operations of a pharmaceutical company.


Jatin (Name changed) is an entrepreneur who began his business with hopes and dreams more than a decade ago. Having seen upswings and downturns of the market and business, he was in delirium on many issues relating to work life balance, business scale, efficiencies, business structuring, mitigation, playing to, or, contra to markets. His education that culminated long ago hardly helped as he was in business poles apart from what he was qualified for. In the midst of uncertainty; he struggled for a while to pursue his business goals.


Having worked with him over last six months, there is some visibility on the way forward, and we are closely working to build a strong succession plan, his personal efficiency and holistic lifestyle, competencies and diversity in business. He does acknowledge that the risks with entrepreneurs is very high, and success depends on his ability to cognitively build on his journey, adapt to environmental changes and operate with deep sense of balance and detachment.


It is for a variety of reasons, people ignore early signals, or keep procrastinating till the point of no return. As experiences become dysfunctional, creating patterns or limiting behaviours, it may be a good idea to deal with them head on, and achieve fulfilment in one’s life pursuits.


Do write to if you have a story to share or if you are looking out for a supportive coach to hold you through transition. Visit

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Mindfulness – Attain your homeostasis

We are born alike, but each one of us is different. We have inherited legacies of social, educational, family, cultural and racial diversity, while the other part is developed over time and experience. As a part of my coaching practice, I get a chance to meet individuals with megalomania of financial, professional, and material success, and on the other hand, depression from social, health, spiritual, family and efficiency failures.


Having had intense, deep conversations with my clients around the subject, I realized that each one of us has his own version and scale of equilibrium, and all of us explore it dynamically with many moving parts around our lives. The tailwinds of Influences, stereotypes, cloning, group-think and conflicts distract and push people off-track from their life pursuits.  


Learning and practicing mindfulness keeps us from drifting away from our state of homeostasis. It is about being in the moment, and living through not just external, but even internal distractors. Those who master it, are more likely to stay on course, successfully reaching self-defined destinations. It is this homeostasis that helps fearlessly pursuing dreams and goals, and living a life to the fullest potential. A coach is what it takes to discover, explore and reinvent, a new you.


Write to  or visit  if you are seeking an accountable relationship to help propel yourself to the next orbit.

Monday, 9 November 2015

Look at life from the finishing line

These words from Steve Jobs can move many. The reason why living a holistically fulfilling life is important..knowing your destination, direction, resources, speed and milestones.

"Steve Jobs’ Last Words -

I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world.
In others’ eyes, my life is an epitome of success.

However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.

At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.

In the darkness, I look at the green lights from the life supporting machines and hear the humming mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of god of death drawing closer…

Now I know, when we have accumulated sufficient wealth to last our lifetime, we should pursue other matters that are unrelated to wealth…
Should be something that is more important:

Perhaps relationships, perhaps art, perhaps a dream from younger days ...
Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me.

God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth.

The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me.
What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love.
That’s the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on.

Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands.
What is the most expensive bed in the world? - "Sick bed" …

You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.
Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – "Life".

When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading – "Book of Healthy Life".

Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.

Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends...

Treat yourself well. Cherish others."

Seek help in your endeavors? Visit 

Thursday, 8 October 2015

Let it all go, See what stays

I have been trying to apprehend for a while, what causes happiness (not to be confused with success at all) and holistic growth. It is quite metaphorical why people begin to flutter and fumble with reasonable success and find it difficult to move on slickly. I have been, therefore carefully observing one extremely important gauge in my area of entrepreneur and executive coaching, scalability & sustainability.


The two are quite intertwined and interchangeable. Following the golden rule, ‘You can do anything, but not everything’, scalability and sustainability require constant change in quantum and quality of goals, and therefore shedding many past patterns.


Over time, the emotional, social, professional, financial or relationship acquisitions become perceptual ‘assets’, giving a false sense of ownership, or sometimes sticky obsession, and this is where serious issues emerge. Inefficiency, drainage, clogging, negativity are natural fall-outs of such obsession, and it is common to see people growing into ‘control freaks’. This almost is like a bulky rock tied to one swimming against the tide.

It is only those who learn to take a deep breath, learn to control the instinct to hold on to uncontrollable, shed unproductive/irrelevant ownership, observe with neutrality, and attain focus on what needs it the most create sustainability, scalability and stay relevant over longer time. It is about cutting clutter, negotiating turbulence and striving to discover and attain a favorable jet stream, leading one to self-defined homeostasis. Letting go is moving on, towards positive goals that are scalable and sustainable.


Wish to work on overcoming the drags in your life? Visit or call 9893222222

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Power of Accountability

The power of accountability

Monday, 3 August 2015


Time flies!! One full year since this journey began. Over 10,000 visits on , over hundred blogs with 15000 page views on , 75% clients expressing numerical improvement in  self- rated scores, 83% satisfaction rating, 65% referrals are a story by themselves. Two years ago, my instructors and mentors at coaching school kept telling me, ‘Coaching works’, and I, on the other side of the table, wondered ‘how’, situation similar to my patronizing clients who, even now, keep asking me as their ‘first’ question.

It’s been an adventurous excursion, much more exciting than I thought it would be, and much more fulfilling than my 26 years of corporate career from a trainee to a spearhead. Each session increasingly satiated me as a human being, relishing the sense of relief, resolution and forward movement that was reflected in the smiles clients exuded. My belief and conviction on ‘Doing’ strengthened more than ever before, as I witnessed many engaged clients overcoming varied barriers, some with discipline, and some with expected struggle, but still moving forward. Some personal, others distant, but each conversation continues to be very close to my heart.

More than anything, what I always revered was their courage to step out of what they thought was mundane and deserved to be replaced with lasting positive action. Being fully appreciative of their valiant effort and trust, I truly thank all of them for not only making it happen for them, but also letting me learn so much from all that they had, that brought them where they are. I applaud for their pro-action, that, very few are able to conceive and initiate.

My heartfelt gratitude to those I could not engage with, or, they could not make up their mind for a coaching engagement. I take this opportunity to urge them to seek some mutually accountable relationships supportive of their growth and life goals with someone, sometime later. We live only once, and it may be a good idea to do it well. I stay committed to the cause.

Reinforcing my resolve to help many more individuals through this transcendent, action driven learning theme, I remain grateful for all that happened during this magnificent journey. A humble thank you once again!!

Sunday, 5 July 2015

Learning from Grexit threat

Global markets are rattled with the uncertainty that a potential Grexit poses. Here are a few quick leanings one can make out of this historic economic and political crisis;

1. Being pro-active: The crisis has been simmering for a long time with a clearly visible outcome that got confirmed yesterday. The political and economic action procrastinated for long till this eventually reached an irretrievable point. Many decisions at our workplace need proactive action.

2. Unity is strength: the concept of EU is becoming increasingly questionable, as, for the sake of unity, a non conforming member remained a threat,bubbling under.  The contagion offers a risk of  other EU nations falling prey to separatist philosophy. All team members at our workplace must deliver results, measured separately, and not just the team results.

3. Common minimum values: 17 nations co-existing in one union needs alignment that seemed to be missing in case of Greece, and for long.ECB and EU kept negotiating for long till they are now being cornered by the referendum. Leadership must align stakeholders to stay committed to organizational values.

4. Austerity is important: Greece denying any further austerity measures despite crisis is a stubborn behavior. Not just in the times of crisis, but at all times, rational austerity is the biggest lesson of this crisis. At both organizational and individual level, making rational decisions on costs and finances is non negotiable. Over leveraging of any kind could be detrimental.

5. Leadership influence: Greek leadership had the responsibility to pursue a rational outcome from the nation. Organizations need strong leaders to drive their vision till the last mile. Weakness at leadership level can have disastrous consequences.

Such historic events offer a huge opportunity to learn and applying the same could make us experientially richer. Need help on some common threads in your organization? or call 9893222222

Friday, 12 June 2015

The power of accountability

Most people who succeed in their initiatives, have one thing in common, and that is accountability. Being responsible and answerable to the end result is something that keeps them on track and make course correction, while staying put and persevering on the task.

Simplest example is an alarm that gives a wakeup call every morning, reinforcing need to get up and stick to a routine morning task, say a walk, or exercise. Even on the days when people feel lazy, this follows and there are high chances that one sticks to the routine. Such behaviour is learnt over a period of time and gets ingrained as a new program, and that slowly builds up into a new habit of getting up well in time even if the alarm doesn’t ring.

All self- initiated, self- diagnosed or self- driven change initiatives fail, as, accountability to self gets soon overtaken by the powerful force within, the comfort zone. It is for this reason, accountability partners are required in most areas, be it health, finances, professional, behavioural or life change. Managers/Supervisors become accountability centres in companies while entrepreneurs choose their accountability centres within or outside of families.

The rationale is simple, which is to commit to an initiative, commit to hold yourself accountable to ‘someone’. Who is that someone, is a matter of trust, choice and his competence. Unless this accountability keep one on track, and keep his culpability on results, change initiatives are more likely to slip and move away from the desired direction.

Wish to initiate life chaning action and looking for an accountability partner? Visit or call +91 9893222222.

Monday, 8 June 2015

Avoiding appraisal surprises

It is common for teams to complain of ambiguity in the appraisal process, while leadership blames naivety and unrealistic expectations of teams at the appraisal desk. The struggle and confrontation  goes on and organizations suffer the consequences in terms of attrition, disengagement and disgruntled teams, causing both tactical and strategic damage to the cultural hygiene and performance. Research indicates over 70% Executives and entrepreneurs strongly feel that it is the most stressful time of the year (Industrial Psychology Journal, 2012).


Leaders, whether Executives or Entrepreneurs, need to be sensitive to the idea of consistent coaching at work, as the ingrained, unsaid skillset that they need to deliver as a mandatory hygiene factor. It is common to see most leaders doing what they like, or what excites/occupy them the most. Be it inefficient duplication, micro management, or their inability to perform tasks as good as people meant for it. Obsession (often confused with passion) tends to occupy routines, functions and therefore results. It is therefore vital to understand leadership has to consistently build on to the coaching effort, and, in fact, large part of their time needs to be invested in this area. Here are five critical functions leaders need to adhere to;


Development: Developing is about transferring skills and experiences, and not hoarding information that never gets shared for organizational benefit. It’s about creation of learning opportunities irrespective of method, conceptual or experiential. It is about any value addition that helps teams to produce an alpha.


Relationships: Subconsciously, we build, sustain and fortify relationships. Nearly 80% of time is invested on relationships. This ensures fearless culture and people do not hesitate to raise hand when they need help or support. It is an effort to build transparent and mutually respectable behavioural norms, and eventually a bridge.


Direction: This is about clarifying without ambiguity, on, where is the business or the team goal headed, what is how teams can contribute, time and measurable milestones in the journey, how would results look like, and what are the acceptable behaviours expected from the teams. These need to be reinforced repeatedly.


Accountability: Once the norms are set, it is important to create opportunities and willingness to share and accept honest, constructive feedback. Without accountability, it is likely that performance would drift.


Results: The effort has to end in a result and more often than not, the planned or course corrected result. The attribution of result, appreciation, and, ratings have to follow at appraisal meetings.


This ensures that there is a little room for surprises on either side when it comes to appraisal process as the outcomes become more predictable and certain. Seek help in building managerial coaching competencies? Visit or call +91 9893222222

Friday, 5 June 2015

The swamp of external expectations

I meet quite a few entrepreneurs and executives putting their happiness at stake, living year after year in the mould that they never wanted to, from their inner self. The pretence of wellness costs them dear on their social, financial, professional, spiritual and health fronts. The culprit is not their skill or competence, but lack of their willingness to action what they think is good for them, for the sake of posturing to the external world, and exhibiting their ‘Control’.


This transition is not sudden in most, but a result of years of subtle submission to competition with external world, or finding emotional security amidst the applause over time. Unknowingly, people get sucked into it. This begin to build a concrete wall of these self-learnt, and constantly reinforced/rehearsed behaviours, that become very tough to break even they are contextually inappropriate. They resemble swamps, where, the more one tries to escape, the deeper one sinks. Inertia looms large on decisions that are internally desired or driven.


They are not damaging only at individual level, but they affect organizations as silent killers of culture, efficiency and eventually, results. Very low or no attrition, legacy heavy structures and innovation devoid cultures are tell-tale signs of managing external expectations, both within and outside the organizations. These can prove to be fatal in the long run to the intellectual, cultural and financial health of the organizations.

The biggest barrier to coming out of such situations is self- inflicted ‘ego’ and resistance to accepting the reality under external pressures. Only those, who have an ability to be themselves, and reconcile with their inner self, stand a chance to win over and discover their happier inner self. For professional help, visit or call +91 9893222222

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Exterminating dysfunctional behaviours

As humans, we like homeostasis, any change in the way we behave, live, or respond is a pattern unique to each individual. Many a people discover implications of such sticky behaviors, and also develop conviction to change them. A drive that begins at a high magnitude slowly dies down or weakens, unless it is tied up with accountability and strong motivation in the individual. It may be realistic to understand that these are difficult to change.


These limiting behaviours develop over a long time, and having tasted success in a different context, become comfort zones with hardened beliefs. It is only a matter of time that they tend to become obsolete, but more and more difficult to change with passage of time and change of context.


While dealing with such stubborn subconscious behaviors, people tend to make a good start but only those, who attain threshold on their effort, succeed. These behaviors are like a nail being pulled out of magnetic field, and unless it crosses the effect of magnetic field successfully, it gets haunted and affected by the magnetic field. Most people lose on the change effort midway due to complacence, inertia, overconfidence, self-diagnosis and ridicule. This failure causes complete reversal or relapse, and in most cases, worse than before.


Keeping faith, accountability, willingness, professional help and self- discipline are necessary to stay on course, and it is imminent that one makes effort with very high integrity when one decides to begin.


Struggling to manage any such behaviors? Visit or call +91 9893222222

Sunday, 17 May 2015

Choosing to break out

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life – J.K.Rowling


“I am fortunate to have a Coach like Dr. Alok Purohit, and shall always be. I was going through my lowest low in my career and had opportunity of coaching sessions by him. He has terrific insight into people and helped me to diagnose and empowered me to fix them my way. His follow up is amazing, and goes much beyond professional engagement. His level of understanding is beyond imagination and above all, he is very humble. His practical approach and wisdom makes him stand above all.”

Best luck.. Abhinav Sonwalkar


This endorsement made my day today morning. Professionally least expected from someone who I engaged with, with few months ago, but strong semblance of trust and honesty he had all this while to write this for me. It takes courage to admit and accept someone’s contribution to our cause, and more than that, to endorse with name. I have though changed the name for non- negotiable professional values.


The story is a memoire’ and a distinct record in my mind, for, he walked in deep sense of despondence, facing crisis in his career at senior managerial position. Living in a self- built comfort zone for long, lost account of many other collateral damages that happened as a side effect of professional mediocrity. A long wait before resolution of the conflicts he had been living with, resulted in sticky negative thoughts and relapsing of dysfunctional blocks. The situation was nearly alarming as I do not remember any client travelling into the town and camping for three days. Even the intensive 5 hour a day sessions I would rarely do with any client.


The results were mind blowing. We could co-create some action points that were completely owned by the client and acted to perfection. It was 18 days that the plan fetched results, and he was back with a bang. A new assignment, new perspective at work and determination to work on his sharp edges to take control is what he returned back with. While this was a tactical solution that helped fix immediate issues, it was representative enough of the efficacy of self- determination aided by coaching effort. I did not have a magic wand but clients effort paid off. While I know that if ignored, the older behaviours would tend to relapse, I wish him well in his endeavours.


The take-outs are as follows;

  1. Do not hesitate to ask for help when one cannot manage a situation himself
  2. Deciding not to live with inhibitions and breaking out of the orbit by initiating change and act on it.
  3. In deepest of disappointments, their lies an opportunity to bounce back, while it is not advisable to wait. All such situations may not be retrievable.
  4. Never leave change effort in between. Antipyretics can cure fever but you need antibiotics to cure the root, the infection.


Visit if you wish and ready to to initiate a change in your life.

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Efficacy of coaching

Do share this. This cites 5 big examples of coaching ROI is very high as it impacts key performance points on the org structure.

Sunday, 19 April 2015

Mindfulness – A key to successful behavioral modification

Many of us want to break patterns. Those that have flattened the trajectory of our results for some time, and, despite magnitude and quality of effort, end up producing similar outcomes. The major problem is that people are aware of their conscious beliefs and behaviors, but not of subconscious beliefs and behaviors.

Most people don’t even acknowledge that their subconscious mind is at play, when the fact is that the subconscious mind is a million times more powerful than the conscious mind and that we operate 95 to 99 percent of our lives from subconscious programs.

Studies have proven that our subconscious beliefs are working either for or against us, but the truth is that we are not controlling our life, because our subconscious mind supersedes all conscious control. This is part of the reason why I’m such a big believer in methods that alter subconscious beliefs.

Researchers do not yet know how or when, exactly, unconscious drives may suddenly become conscious; or under which circumstances people are able to override hidden urges by force of will. Millions have quit smoking, for instance, and uncounted numbers have resisted darker urges to misbehave that they don’t even fully understand.

Yet the new research on priming makes it clear that we are not alone in our own consciousness. We have company, an invisible partner who has strong reactions about the world that don’t always agree with our own, but whose instincts, these studies clearly show, are at least as likely to be helpful, and attentive to others, as they are to be disruptive. Being mindful of such subconscious programs is the only way to at least make a good effort and increase the degree of success with our own behaviors, and to be successful, one needs to develop mindfulness over a period of time.
visit or write to

Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Managing disengaged leadership

There is enough empirical evidence that suggest a direct correlation between performance and engagement. The measurement of engagement levels has been  quite a widely accepted methodology that reflects upon the organizational consensus on the prevalent conditions at work, on both hygiene and motivational aspects. While the measurement does suggest areas that require attention, it is important to strategically build the culture that permanently helps build engagement through high impact points in the structure, that is, at leadership levels.

I have had a chance to look at engagement across levels in various organizations, and the most explosive situation I ever saw was high disengagement levels at the leadership level itself, while the engagement score were comparatively high at lower levels in the organization. This is but a clear indicator of a simmering disaster and evident foreseeable consequences. High attrition, indifference with talent, high inertia and bureaucracy,politics, inability to attract, silo's, and misdirected effort are just few consequences to be seen. Flattening growth curve, either indecision or decisions at snails pace, confusion across levels and complete erosion of innovation and lateral thinking have added to the weak culture of such organizations.

The prognosis is simple. Thought leadership is clearly missing, and so is ownership and onus to translate vision (if there was one), into reality  Ambiguity and mediocrity had grown into the DNA, and turned malignant. Leadership has to have, non negotiably,high impact on the culture and therefore, engagement, and for enabling that, their own engagement is of supreme importance. It is high time the organizations begin to scan the early signs of leadership disengagement and ensure professional intervention to ensure clawing back to higher engagement levels. 

Leadership has high potential to positively or negatively impact the organizational culture, and it needs to be recognized well in time. It is imperative that the senior leadership must get professional inputs for development.
Want to know more? Visit or call +91 9893222222.

Saturday, 4 April 2015

Respecting your resolve

Most individuals commit to a change and make resolutions after enormous effort, and overcoming mental and attitudinal barriers. The journey that begins with very high energy and momentum, soon begins to slow down, only to find its death, sooner in some, or little longer in other cases. Practically, success rate is as low as 15-20% among self driven people, while an improved 50% success rate is achieved among people with stronger resolve and professional help at regular intervals.

Failure in realizing results from sometimes life changing resolutions has strong correlation to some key attributes;

1. Not being true to oneself - people often lie to themselves and begin pursuing what they are not sure about.
2. Not committing time to initiatives - thinking that once rolled out, initiatives will auto complete themselves.
3. Not reviewing progress - resolutions begin to skid down for immeasurability and progress destroyed faster.
4. Not deploying enough resources or banking too much on them - resources alone cannot suffice.
5. Not seeking professional help - hesitating, not trusting, or undermining professional help proves disastrous.
6. Trivializing the significance of initiatives - No sooner one loses sight of significance of result, failure happens.
7. Not living, breathing and thinking of a resolution almost certainly dilutes focus and energy towards any initiative

Consistent professional help is most helpful in sticking to resolutions in all walks of life, and it does require a trustworthy professional to negotiate through the decisions people make towards their life goals. Looking for some major life changing resolutions, visit or call +91 9893222222

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

You think success happens with resources? read on..

Inertia or homeostasis is the first block in any process of change and requires significant effort to break. Once the process of change begins, it needs to be supported by committing time, effort and resources. There are ubiquitous examples where people commit resources, while the drive to stay committed on time and effort dies down sooner than we think, resulting in failure to execute.

Think of a weight loss effort, committing an expensive gym membership but failing to turn up regularly. Sports freaks (??) buying expensive equipment but hardly using them and many more examples like that may be cited. Therefore the culprit is attitude towards change. It is paradoxical to see individuals succeeding under paucity of resources, while massive failures happen despite committed resources. In reality, the magnitude, order, threshold, consistency and time required for the change effort are significantly important in building success. Resources are important but do not always solely drive the process of change. Individuals who strike gestalt with this reality are more likely to achieve greater success. Need to know more about initiating big changes, or seeking better results? Visit or call  +91 9893222222.

Thursday, 19 March 2015

Living the threat of professional extinction?

Professional careers are all about success and growth. Organizations as business entities expect profitability and utilization of talent individuals have. It is a mutually convenient relationship, of course, managed professionally or otherwise depending on the organizational values. Under limited resources, differentiation is the key and therefore Parato becomes relevant, disproportionately rewarding performers while others grow at an average. Employees hanging around and waiting to grow on seniority and exoerience become extremely vulnerable to professional extinction.

It is important for professionals to keep an eye on their growth, in terms of earning, learning and getting meaty assignments over time. On-going career stints with high effort low result, sub-optimal achievements on KRS’s, poor supervisor relationship and trust, barely inflationary or lower financial growth, growing stress across all spheres, and, detachment at workplace and lack of commitment and ownership are classic signs when executives need a quick bout of help. There is a need to re-calibrate direction, speed and goals one wants to achieve.

Facing similar dilemma around career, growth or work-life issues ? visit or call +91 9893222222 for getting professional help.

Friday, 13 March 2015

10 Belief Triggers that Sabotage Your Success

Extremely motivating talk from M.Goldsmith, that I watched recently talks about lack of forward movement.
Some of our inner beliefs can trigger failure before it happens. They sabotage change by cancelling its possibility! Discover how to recognize these sabotaging beliefs and learn what you can do about them.

I’m sure you’ve met him, or her. That person who says he’ll finish the project tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes. Or the person who promises to call as soon as she gets home, but you never hear from her. People who do not keep their commitments to return calls or close loop as committed.

We know lots of people like this. If we’re a hard case, we cut them out of our lives. If we’re a “softie”, we make excuses, and try to let it go. Either way, these people, who make promises to change one day and excuses not to the next, exist.

And, we may have even done this ourselves! I know I have. For those of us who admit to it, we know our genius becomes more acute when it’s our turn to change how we behave. That’s when we fall back on a set of beliefs that trigger denial, resistance, and ultimately self-delusion. These beliefs are more wicked than excuses. An excuse is the handy explanation we offer when we disappoint other people. It is acute and convenient, often made up on the spot. Basically an excuse is so abused it’s a wonder anyone believes them.

What do we call the excuses we privately harbor when we disappoint ourselves? Mere “excuse” is somehow inadequate to describe these inner beliefs that represent how we interpret our world. An excuse explains why we fell short of expectations after the fact. Our inner beliefs trigger failure before it happens. They sabotage change by cancelling its possibility. We employ these beliefs as articles of faith to justify our inaction and then wish away the result. I call them belief triggers and we think them all day long. Here’s a not-extensive list, but it should get you started on where I’m going with this.

1. I am the same ‘me’
The person who promised to change yesterday is not the same person who has to execute that change today. We make promises to ourselves and others today that we cannot keep tomorrow. This is a most illusory belief – because it triggers over-confidence in our ability to execute our plan.

2. If I change I am ‘inauthentic’
We refuse to adapt our behavior to new situations because “it isn’t me.” This belief triggers stubbornness.

3. I won’t get tired
When we intend to work long hours, we’re not exhausted. But after we work several hours we become tired and are eager to throw in the towel. It’s the same with changing our ways – we grow tired with the effort it takes to change. This triggers depletion.

4. I understand the requirements
People who read my writing often tell me, “It’s common sense. I didn’t read anything here that I don’t already know.” True, but there’s a difference between understanding and doing. Just because people understand what to do doesn’t ensure that they will actually do it. This belief triggers confusion.

5. It has to be perfect
Even when we appreciate that nothing is permanent, we still believe in the idea of perfection – that there is a perfect weight, a perfect job, a perfect state of mind if only we strive harder to achieve it. This triggers hopelessness -- so we give up.

6. It’s not fair
We have an unshakeable belief in the essential fairness of life – that if we do what is asked of us, we will be rewarded for it. When that faith is shaken and we see that life is not fair, we feel cheated. Our dashed expectations trigger resentment. We convince ourselves that the game is rigged against us and refuse to play again. In other words, we stop trying.

7. I can do it on my own
We believe that we are solely responsible for our own happiness and success, that positive change starts and ends within us and is neither shaped nor determined by the people around us. We abuse self-sufficiency, ignoring the value of a supportive environment, taking foolish pride in doing it all ourselves. We trigger our isolation.

8. Nothing will interrupt my focus
We don’t plan for the low-probability events because, by definition, any one of them is unlikely to occur. But in the aggregate, low probability events affect us all the time. Who plans on a flat tire, or accident, or stalled traffic because of an overturned semi on their way to work? This belief triggers unrealistic expectations.

9. ‘At least I’m better than…’
In a down moment after failure or loss, we tell ourselves, “At least I’m better than _______.” We award ourselves a free pass because we’re not the worst in the world. This is our excuse to take it easy, lowering the bar on our motivation and discipline. We’ve triggered a false sense of immunity.

10. I am exempt on this ‘special day’
Today is the Super Bowl, or my birthday, or our anniversary, or my day off. We excuse our momentary lapse as an outlier event, a blip in the long arc of committed change we are making. This belief triggers a self-indulgent inconsistency – which is fatal for change.

Overconfidence. Stubbornness. Depletion. Confusion. Hopelessness. Resentment. Isolation. Unrealistic expectations. Immunity. Inconsistency. That’s a lot of heavy baggage to carry on our journey of change.

These are just some of the rationalizations that keep us from becoming the person we want to be. Now that you’ve read them, I bet they’re nothing you’ve not heard before! Keep watch in your daily life for them, keep track of how often you use one of these trigger beliefs, see if you can come up with others. This is a great exercise, because as you know awareness is the first step towards change! Reasons why it is strongly recommended that people win over the self sabotaging beliefs before dysfunctional behaviors.
Struggling to move forward? visit to explore more.

Saturday, 7 March 2015

Are you struck by social media depression?

Social media has drastically changed the way we live and socialize. Relationships that are possible beyond boundaries of proximity or knowledge about each other, relationships that are non committal and that run on the premise of ‘showing up’. Friends, family and even strangers who share your interests are never far away when you have the convenience afforded by a social networks. People still feel depressed, lonely or unhappy when they have such a seemingly useful tool at their discretion? It may be worthwhile to ask yourself if you are the one who suffers from social media syndrome.

However, although there is no scientific proof of a direct correlation between social media and depression in healthy individuals, social media does have a potential to negatively impact self-esteem, mental-health and emotional well-being as some newer studies suggest.

Low or no support on online linkages

Feeling stressed out or tired, it’s only natural. Feeling anxious and depressed can happen due to; problems at work, self-image issues, fatigue, relationship problems, arguments with friends and family, low self-esteem, etc. and “just talk to someone about it” actually works, with friends or family members you are close with and whose opinions you trust.

Noticing people posting a supportive comment on your status and commenting on pictures from a party, portrays futility of their expressed involvement with your issues, and there is a good chance that you may be left feeling worse than before. In such cases it’s best to leave the computer and get a cup of coffee with someone you trust, write down your feelings on a piece of paper or let off steam through exercise.

Developing envy with other people and fear you are missing out in life

Even when people do not have a reason to suffer, logging on to social media and immersing yourself in pictures of excited people drinking, laughing, making fools of themselves or chilling on a beach can be nerve wrecking at times.

Feelings of disappointment and envy wash over they realized these people were all having fun with others while they were alone. People move from feeling slightly bored, yet reasonably contented, to feeling lonely and pensive.

Effect on relationships

Social media allows you access to a lot of private information about a person. Some can’t handle what essentially equates to socially acceptable voyeurism very well..

Benchmarking your self-worth on the number of friends, interactions and likes

People experience noticeable irritation because they had no notifications after being away from the computer for a whole day. Think of it, are you just the sum of all your friends, believing social status depends on the number of comments, likes and other interactions between you and your virtual friends.

Vulnerability to Cyber threats

Sarcastic and rude comments as a negative part of opening yourself up to a huge number of people, only a few of which are actually close to you, but sometimes things escalate far past the point of someone being rude or inconsiderate. Cyber bullying is extremely dangerous, and there are many criminal incidents to demonstrate this.

If you are one of the millions of casual social media users whose mood isn’t significantly affected by online social life then good for you, but if you see any of the signs that social media may be causing you to feel lonely, sad, depressed, angry, jealous, envious or anxious, then you should consider giving it a break and working on some of the underlying problems, even if that means seeking professional help. ( )